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• (801): View more from Utah

  We were having sex on the balcony and this guy walked by, so drunkily i said "dont move, he cant see us if we dont move."

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• (416): View more from Toronto

  Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.

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• (847): View more from Illinois

  worst part about day drinking... waking up to george lopez

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• (814): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jesus christ how hard is BRING SNACKS AND DRUGS to interpret? I trust your judgement on this one.

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• (408): View more from California

  This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.

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• (919): View more from North Carolina

  when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch

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• (303): View more from Colorado

  Like lay upon bear skin rugs, drink brandy and reminisce of the yesteryear's before a majestic fire place? Because those are my plans.

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• (907): View more from Alaska

  It was my little brother's 14th birthday today. Didn't know what to get him so I just showed him how to use incognito tabs on google chrome.

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• (714): View more from California

  Well at one point he got ahold of my archery gear.. And I. Shit. You. Not. Sarah took an arrow to the knee.

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• (478): View more from Georgia

  So. How about you can get tequila certified...

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• (563): View more from Iowa

  I'm having one of my monday morning walk of shame coffees if you care to join.

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• (614): View more from Ohio

  I want everyone to love me, and THEN I will choose who gets to eat me out all the time.

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• (757): View more from Virginia

  Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?

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• (818): View more from California

  Don't drink and shop. I went for happy hour and came home with a fog machine. I now have no other choice but to scare the shit out of my neighbors with it.

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• (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  I’m sorry I got high and yelled about the patriarchy.

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