brb k???!! plz don't leave i want 2 tlk bout r rltnshp
what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
News Flash: Turtles are cuter than Jesus.
Congrats on damning at least 10 generations of your offspring to hell with just one text message. Way to start your morning off right.
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
I am like king midas for the gay community. everything I touch turns into a lesbian.
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Tough to be a good wingman when you puke on yourself and everyone w/in a 5 ft radius at the FIRST bar we go to so don't tell me to step my game up
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
I think if wine wasn't a thing I'd give up on life.
You have ruined sex with him for me. Now all I think is "boy scout" and I want to go home
Well, you were never considered a shining example of sobriety anyway
Your roommates will be treating you to many anecdotes about my intentions to have aggressive sex with you. I'm sorry in advance.
There is a reason my most meaningful relationship since 2012 has been with Duracel...
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
