And then the cop told me my court date was on 4/20. I said come onn u really gunna do me like that
I was also standing on my bed with a road cone pounding on the ceiling at 3am. Not sure why
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Okay, just a casual question: how did i manage to get grass stains on the inside of my bra?
When I eventually hook up with a resident lets refer to it as taking a hands on approach to my job
I wonder what acid is like for a blind person... Can we find this out?
I think I'm dead. Why did I think it was a good idea to hang from the banister while someone poured liquor into my mouth?
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
There is a glee sing along. It's on random and they know them all. Like, the specific glee timings and pauses. I need to leave. I need to escape
So you're mad that you saw a penis at a swinger's party? That's rational
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
apparently I kept repeating I have a to do list this summer and he's on it
Dude, I'm at a wedding and there's a mashed potato bar and bacon strip appetizers. I'm getting all emotional.
Randomize
