dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
So we made editble underwear with fruit roll ups and fruit by the foot
is it bad that while shopping i looked specifically for clothes that hold their form after taking them off and putting them on again and again?
Sooo sorry about that. And crying. And comparing my life to a duck
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
I can die happy now, I have been kicked out of strip clubs on six different continents
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
I have three paper towels stuck up my vagina. This is not a time to be calm.
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
Church parking lot, park bench, front porch. I think she's more comfortable going down on me in public. May have found the one.
Easy. Go to walmart, buy a bag of charcoal. everyone gets a present and it's cheap.
So I just saw someone get shoved into a car trunk by your car.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
Randomize
