i just bought ciggarettes using my court citation as id. I've reached an all time low.
Ive either hit rock bottom or become my own hero.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
that was you who tried to jump in front of my car in the monkey suit wasnt it
23 People Noticed Deal Breakers in Their Partner A Little Too Late
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
I just had the stunning realization that I lost my virginity in a bunk bed.
I just traded 5 cigarettes for a sandwich on they greyhound.You owe me 5 cigarettes. I told you I would get hungry.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Two days later and my throat is still sore. That bong is a double edged sword.
23 Millennials Confess The Things They Wish They Weren’t Attracted To
he wouldnt let me in bed until i took off all the stickers i was covered in
so the kid in line in front of me at walmart just bought roses and a Plan B pill. Happy Valentines Day.
This is not a drill. I need a cape. And a tuxedo. Simultaneously. Repeat. NOT. A. DRILL....
Is that your mom climbing in your window dude
He caught me mid-escape...one leg out the window, bra n thong in hand.I just looked at him and said "Bye Now" n proceeded to fall out his window....then.... tell me why he texted me 30 min later to make sure i got home ok! #igotthis
I just made my dating life into my own game show. would you like to meet the contestants? (photos not included)