True true and the only thing that will burn more than the vodka we will consume is the shame in our loved one's eyes
And yet we make it a tradition to get inappropriately drunk at family functions. We amaze me.
At least it's not a funeral this time... I feel we're making improvements.
she's sitting on the other side of the room at this party. with her smirnoff tucked in that little opening between her cleavage and shirt. drinking from a straw. snapping her fingers off beat.
i don't care what she did to you. we are not having sex in front of your sister.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
These 29 Nasty People Went To The Bathroom In Public
you try finding a go kart track at 4 AM on Thanksgiving
When the tupperware hit the highway it was like a vomit bomb
I want to celebrate with you...
There's nothing I'd like more than a celebratory "The guy I'm doing just found out he's not a baby daddy" dinner.
Well duh, alcohol and getting fucked up are the world's common languages.
you were wearing a pair of wings and handing out McDonalds apple pies, if anyone refers to you as the "Rave Fairy" you now know why.
THIS EXPLAINS SO MUCH.
19 People Who Had An Inappropriate Celebrity Encounter
Guess who just made out with Sloth from The Goonies!
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
Just bought a colored water bottle so my classmates can be so judgemental when I bring beer to class.
She's so nice... She deserves all the dicks.
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.