Just tipped at a bar in cheerios. Suck it.
Im doing kagels to the beat of Christmas music... "Jingle Bells" is hard. Try it.
You know you had good weekend wheb we you hook up with three different girls and you don't feel no pain when u pee in the morning
we ended up on her 9 year old brothers bed and he saw the whole thing.... now he will know how to use his equipment
First day of class and I'm in a bar drinking pitcher #3. Foreshadowing?
In other news, I apparently ate my retainers while rolling last night.
I actually have to watch Breaking Bad to make me feel better about my choices last night.
He accidentally opened the car door during sex and all the lights came on. Needless to say, that kid passing by who was walking his dog got scarred for life.
If you're mature enough to fuck him you're mature enough to tell him you don't want a relationship come on
You know, I think when I have a lot of free time, thats when I pick up odd lovers. Maybe keeping busy is key to not using my vagina
Talking to a customer about getting high and staring at glow in the dark wheels while there is a cop in the store. Just another day in Tampa
I pretended to be blind and he pretended to be my assistant and long story short, we had to buy that bra and panty set, and now we're both banned from Victoria's Secret AND I have a cum stained demi cup.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
The last thing I remember before blacking out was passing that sobriety test.
And change of plans today, I'm gonna lay in bed and eat taco bell and try not to die. Brazilians another day.
Randomize
