Wow, So this kid just walked into class, yak'd on his lab partner then runs out. Class is now cancelled. I gotta find this kid and Thank him.
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
Her divorce is going to cut into the amount of time we spend fucking.
I'm in awe of how selfish that is.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
Well, I saw an Olympian's genitals tonight, so it can't be that bad.
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I got inside last night via doggy door
If you think eating a bowl of leftover stuffing and drinking champagne from the bottle in dirty sweats at 9am is sexy... Then yeah, I'm your girl.
Also send boobie pics with bobs burgers in background its the only way to get me off anymore
I'm just drunk enough to be eating egg rolls on the toilet
Swear on my life the dude next to us just ordered a pizza and I will fight to the death for a slice
When we found you, you were half crying/half singing Taylor swift songs at 2am in the bathroom, and occasionally puking. I think I get "friend of the year" award just for putting up with your drunk ass all night.
Randomize
