hahah your definitly as dumb as I think I thought you are. boom roasted.
i live my life in a constant state of hangover.
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
Only the gays. Guy gives me a handjob in the steam, then changes next to me under his towel
Only the gays
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I'm just going to eat until there's an actual reason why he wouldn't want to fuck me.
The spray paint was a bad idea, 'insert penis here' isn't coming off
I went in to wake you up this morning and you had a condom draped across your throat like a necklace. There were no boys in the house last night, what were you doing?
I found some video of you on my camera that's like 5 seconds long, where you announce that you should have been a dentist before taking a bong hit.
I should not be so motivated by a penis, but I am
I don't know, but I assume drunk me had her reasons. I trust her judgement.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
avocado toast wont fix the fact you did a bunch of blow you fucking hipster
I was grinding with girl while I was eating french fries, and she turned around to hook up with me. She ate my fries.
Randomize
