1:12am: That's just how i roll, and this dress she is wearing is dirty and needs to get pulled over her head.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
He said "ride me pocahontas" while I was on top of him last night
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i left after you tried to balance a shot of tequila on your head while screaming at the bar tender that you fucked his girlfriend
Now accepting hypotheses about how i managed to get a bruise between my boobs....
sooo....i just remembered that someone fed me a pretzel out of their purse at the bar last night.
It feels like there's puke trying to explode out of me from behind my eyeballs.
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
So my class is approximately two vomits from the bus stop. Happy first day of class
I'm pretty sure the rest of my evening will consist of masturbating, drinking tequila and watching children's movies.
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
only i would get off to receiving death threats online
Randomize