Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
If I die today, promise to let the world know I partied.... oh god did I party
no... you woke up naked next to the toilet because you said your outfit was too cute to throw up in
For some reason 'start yourself on fire drunk' isn't nearly as funny after last 4th of july..
just saw your exgirlfriend at the mall. her sister is pretty hot.
called that a week into the relationship. like driving off the lot with a 2010 and seeing the 2011 models coming in on the truck.
One date. That's all it took. I want to have his geunis babies in me. One date.
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
The moment that kid turns 18, I will have his sperm for all three meals.
Oh God. You're going to jail
i seriously wanted to pee on her right then.
That guy drinking savagely was actually at his buddy's gay bachelor party in the male stripper section. He came over to the chicks side so we drank with him.
He had some sort of penis-related post traumatic stress disorder, but body shots seemed to wake him up
He snorted adderall on my table. I have a feeling he's not trying to buy me flowers
I tried to get more sleep but the universe decided I needed a drunken freshman instead
All I could think about while we were fucking was what Hogwarts house he would be in
Dick is the cure to depression. I'm almost positive. And cough syrup.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
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