You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
my roommates friend slept in my bed when i was out of town..she ran out screaming cause she saw my VCR
As far as classy things to do in front of your ex go, throwing up on your own shirt is not one of them.
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
I've created a drink called, "watching the sound of music with grandma." its straight vodka
Everything smells like beer. Everything. But I cant drag myself out of bed to take a shower. So beer it is.
I've always wanted to pass out in a bathtub
I think most people do. Your only real mistake was turning the water on first.
I'm at the perfect height to walk up to the corner of my mom's stove and rest my balls on it. Just thought you'd like to know they're warm.
His mom already thought we were lesbians BODY SHOTS WERE JUST NOT AN OPTION SORRY
I don't know what was up he just kept sitting in his chair smoking weed and watching home movies all night it was weird as fuck.
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
I planned out my poor life choices for the weekend.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Randomize
