Duck Duck Cougar?
she was like a sexier Rosie O'Donnel
My Adderall prescription says to take my recommended dose and throw away any leftover pills. Why don't more prescriptions come with jokes like this?
Well, you're either very drunk or very high but I'll let it slide because I love any type of conversation concerning cheese.
So at what point do I tell her that I like fucking these hot southern girls more than I like my relationship with her?
naw. unless you want me to sit in a corner, not understand english and eat all of your cheese then i don't think it's a good idea.
plan d- we get drunk, go see that Justin Bieber movie and freak out 13 year old girls.
Well this lady at the bar told me I was a natural on the tambourine and that it was my God given talent. and then she gave me a tambourine.
No sorry. I may be a happy drunk but my gag reflux is an angry drunk.
This isn't good. I can't find my mom. This is why we don't give her Fireball.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
We spent 45 minutes searching the crevices of our friend's car with a pair of tweezers trying to find the acid that we dropped
I know he works a lot but c'mon man. I 69'd you the first week we boned. Put a little effort in. Fuck.
ok first of all what the fuck
Can’t. It’s taco and dick night.
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