come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
They made my facebook status "I got my period!!!." Every guy I've had sex with at college liked it.
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
he's werid. hell kiss me after i go down on him but he wont kiss me after i eat anything with mustard.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
not to be a dick but do you remember the names of all your friends i made out with after we broke up?
you know, this Evan Williams whiskey isn't so bad when it's watered down a bit and you're home by yourself on a Saturday listening to Snoop Dog alone in your apartment without pants or any plans for your future...
Better than road-head. Just got model-home-head. Also got a disapproving scowl of judgment from the realtor on the way out.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
The least you could do is send me some gibberish so I know you're alive.
Fuhga
Thank you.
Idk woke up on the suite in someone else's clothing and actually broke my ankle
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
We are taking a shrt nap on the sidewalk cme fine me if you want but dont wake me up
woke up with a tree in my apartment. also the everclear bottle is suspiciously low
suspiciously? i think one of those explains the other
Randomize
