so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i'm surrounded by gay midgets. not sure if i'm bragging or asking you to come rescue me. wait for follow up.
no matter how many times i close my eyes and hit ignore on my phone. i must remind myself shit i still have to see her at work
Now that the fun of having an iPhone has worn off I find that using screen as a coke tray is by far my favorite app
So he didn't pull out. And I like flipped out. And the he told me to chill and opened up a drawer full of packs of Plan B and handed me one.......
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
She cried the whole movie and got kicked out for saying "[Santa's beard] looks so soft I wanna stick my dick in it." We're going again next week. Drunk animation majors are the best
I was mid hand job and stopped me because he wanted to "connect" which meant putting his thumb in between my eyebrows and a hand over my heart and closing our eyes...
Most drunken moment of the night is me pouring Chanel no. 5 all over your boobs and rubbing it in...
The date went significantly better after the fifth shot of fireball.
The dominatrix coworker is currently listening to pop music that has been translated into an Irish dialect and sung by high school kids. Every day gets weirder here.
I told him I just left the convent and really wanted a man. He fell for it. Sure beats telling him I'm a nympho stalker that followed him to the bar when I saw his beard.
Is it day drinking when the suns up like when does that start
asking for a friend
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
Randomize
