my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he thanks me after handjobs.
you found the perfect man.
What are the signs of a concussion? Please don't freak out.
Why is everyone in the bowling alley looking at me like i'm a prostitute just because I have bunny ears on?
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
Advice for you. Never grate cheese on your counter then not cleanup the scraps, then have your bf over and endup having sex on the counter. Theres literally cheese melted in and around my ass.
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
He said I kept trying to give him directions back to my house in Rhode Island, and that I started crying when he told me I live in Phoenix.
He came over to use the microwave, said he needed to heat up some urine.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
just hooked up with a guy ON MY CAMPUS VISIT. god only knows whats gonna happen when im actually a student
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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