i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
thats the last time I fuck a piece of fruit on camera for him.
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
i've already watched her fall off the steps, walk up on our porch and try to dance with the dog, and stumble across the street to stand outside the neighbors window...is it taking it too far to watch this rando girl and some guy have sex behind our parking lot now?
How can I look at her with a straight face when she has dry puke on her eye lid
who put toothpaste on EVERY doorknob in my house?!
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
Day drinking is so dangerous way too many construction workers out there to flirt with
There was just a girl standing next to me on the train, wasted, wearing only one shoe. I so wanted to pat her on the shoulder and say "oh honey, we've all been there"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
I woke up while eating peanut butter from a jar. I don't think I should be social today.
Woke up with chlamydia and a bruised rib. I'd say my boss is gonna be mad about me not showing up to work, except you know.. it's her fault.
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
Wait you took his virginity AND broke his bed doing it
I know! I’m the best!
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