Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
guess who just trotted in eating her oats and wagging her penis
We discussed how the marijuana was making the dopamine float around our nucleus accumbens last night when we were high. Yet another example of how our science classes are perverting our good times.
he just tried to convince me that tylenol is a gateway drug
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
Why did I wake up holding food tongs?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
the fact that we had sex in the dining hall makes it seem so much more like home.
He answered his phone while he was eating me out and proceeded to yell at his wife for interrupting lunch...impressed or rock bottom?
dude a monday night stripper made you motorboat her. you should get that checked out
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
Ok she stopped using her fork and knife and is legit eating that steak using her hands.
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
So this is what bad decisions tastes like...
Randomize