I hate all girls vehemently.
Beach body diet is off. Pizza hut worked its way back onto my google chrome top 8
i was quietly enjoying my waffles when he came downstairs naked, kissed me on the forehead, and thanked me for the night before. i didnt even know anyone stayed over.
no, i'm currently making the trek across campus to get all my stuff from last night. My ID is in one guys bed, and my camera in another guy's bed.
we used the bottom of a tampon for coke since no one had a 20 on them. My life has resisted to this.
She just fell in the river. Meet us downstream with the bottle.
Oh I forgot to tell you that while you were in the bathroom last night I made friends with a gay man named Rodger from Venezuela and he kissed me cheek and told me I "knew how to shake my thing". From now on we go to the bathroom as a team.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
I am way too attached to fictional lesbians.
I would lick a homeless mans crack teeth for a cup of coffee right now.
It's Saturday night and I'm sitting on my couch by myself, watching Glee, and drinking gin and tonics. If you listen very closely, you can hear the wails of my mother giving up hope that I will ever give her a son-in-law.
He says I vaguely mumbled happy New year, kissed him, threw up and then went back to sleep.
I threw up in bed last night and tried cleaning it with oldspice and baby powder
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
No but seriously. Just had a guy lean over and sniff my head like it was a freshly baked pie
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