Mental picture: Us at a bar keeping it classy shot gunning PBR's in the corner.
That was a good example of when keeping it real goes right
My new sobriety test is "how many times do I have to attempt to put toothpaste on my brush"... It takes a while.
I skipped class, don't know why though bc all I did in the meantime was cook pancakes and watch infomercials..my life sucks
She started doing push ups and calling me a pussy. Never set me up with your ROTC friends again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
in light of our recent drunken behavior, i think it's time we seriously consider hiring ourselves a babysitter.
Of course, you get to fuck all night while I'm stuck in the girls bathroom sucking a limp dick for coke
I'm just gonna wear a long dress with no panties today. My pussy needs a break.
TONIGHT IS GOING TO BE A FUCKING BLAST. EVEN IF I HAVE TO SET OFF A BUNCH OF FIREWORKS IN YOUR KITCHEN.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I love how my phone automatically capitalizes Margarita. R-e-s-p-e-c-t.
Here's to not getting arrested this year on thanksgiving again. Cheers bitches!
There is maybe 10 hours out of any given day we aren't sober.
I even put my vibrators back in the bedroom instead of the coffee table. If that's not growing up then I don't know what is.
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
why is half of my head shaved?
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