i'll give you all the meat in my fridge in exchange for 2 condoms.
me texting you is like we have secret walkie talkies.
And people are going to start dressing like that in public, it's just ridiculous, the goths and now the GAGAs
This Casey James character from American Idol is really gonna mess up my sex life.
Or maybe the fact that you know who Casey James is will be what messes up your sex life.
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
He wears a hat. All the time. Even during sex. And I'm okay with that.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
I feel like i just got chewed up and shit out by a ukranian midget
When a bartender remarks "wow" on how quickly you've finished a drink... Is that good or bad?
wanna mail me your GoPro for St.Patties and I'll mail it back to you coverend in puke?
He is 30 (that's 8 years older than I am) and uses more Emojis than I do. Problem?
Duck, Duck, Goose is now the autocorrect, safe for work version of fuck, fuck, loose.
All i want from a relationship is to get drunk watch pirates of the Caribbean and have sex
Randomize
