He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
hows that letter of apology to the waitress at waffle house coming?
He woke me up at 4am just to lick my nipple. Then he talked in his sleep for 20 minutes about the sex we just had. I think it's safe to say he's a weird one, but I dont care cuz he fucks like a champ.
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
I don't know where I am and I feel like a hippo shat in my mouth. This sofa is comfy though.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Hey kevin, it's Ashlee. I have been trying to get ahold of you. Your pledge gave me your number. I really wanted to apologize for shitting in your car I'll buy new upholstery or pay to have it shampooed if needed. I'm so embarrassed.
You're supposed to discourage my sluttiness not bring me hot Colombian men
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
You're a brave, albeit stupid soul for wanting in on the fuckery that comes attached to my vagina
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