When I was her age, Pluto was still a planet... but i said what the hell
last night i found where hot topic managers go to die after they get fired.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
hey just checking if u still hate me for sleeping with your sister?
she kicked me out for pissing in the recycling bin. I mean, is it really THAT big of a deal?
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
i want to major in coloring with an emphasis on crayons.
so finals studying is going well?
it was really awkward..i thought he had two dicks, but later realized it was jsut his roommate
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
Does making ice cubes at 4 in the morning count as being productive?
Left my card at the bar and had a drunk girl climb on the hood of my running car to scream at me.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
Drinking Hot Toddies on the Porch and blasting bob dylans "hurricane" bring it on sandy!
The only reason I can fathom that you've been able to continue to date new people this long is that women continue to become of age each year, and the younger ones don't know any better.
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
Randomize
