i woke facing the corner with my computer and i had googled "how to put out a fire" i am so scared to turn around
She said to delete the bj video, but I accidentally hit the 'send to her bf' button. My bad
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
There will be two dogs there to provide supervision. Not to worry.
I'm gonna go out on a limb and say it had something to do with pool sex.
I think we should have realized the night was going to be nuts when it started with a bum dying in front of my house.
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
I learned so much about myself in that shower.
I was doing drugs in the men's room so my employee went in to the woman's for the same reason but left proof and got caught. Had to fire him cuz I bogarted his dope spot. Awesome.
Just seen a chubby version of you. Nearly kidnapped her. Perfect woman
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I was going to text you that earlier, but I felt like before 10 was probably to early to bring up boners
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
