im gay
i know
yea but for you.
you kept begging me not to tell anyone you had been a bat in another life
Peed on my phone. Dried it out in oven. Technology is both a plus and a minus.
He has a tattoo of a carebear. This is not happening.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
Im thinking about quitting weed for my dog
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
Turns out the old man beside me in the waiting room was dead, but other then that it was a good day.
my window is missing, there is half a pizza jammed into the disk slot of my PS3, and the entire kitchen floor is covered in cerial i cant see any wood floor. did we have fun?
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
I'm so jealous of your sex life. You know it's awesome when thinking about the sex you had last night brings you tears of joy.
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
Thought the acid was fake. Then my reflection didn't move when I did in the bathroom.
Randomize
