I just saw grafitti that read "Mug The Fart Eater". Really, Memphis? That's all you've got?
Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
you know you should just kill yourself when you are helping your 16 year-old sister get ready for a date and you're going out to dinner with you parents..
Life lesson #57: drinking whisky out of apples leads to threesomes.
No period for spring break; use this wisely.
The bouncer yelled at him for poking at the guy selling roses, I think it's time to leave.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
I may have farted on a group of children. It may not have been an accident.
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
we're the same shoe size and he owns more pairs of heels than i do. this could be the beginning of a beautiful friendship
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My joke about liking my coffee like I like my men IS ABOUT TO COME TRUE.
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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