Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Going to pass out with da shoes on. hugging wallstreet journal from tuesday. please check me for liveliness in the morning.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
I have a music final in an hour so I put all the classical songs we need to know in a shower power hour playlist, beer included.
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
You're wearing a hospital gown and pearls. Let's reevaluate your life.
He should just accept that I want his dick and his friendship. Can't he understand that I don't do emotions?
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
I feel like I should treat myself every time I find out I'm not pregnant. Is there a pie company that delivers??
My neighbor was my D.A.R.E officer and I feel like I've defeated him by smoking weed outside everyday
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
