i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
I can totally hide my daquiri in my sling.
i guess when we were done i grunted "unforgiveable" and walked out.
The sound guy for the band told me id make a great valentines gift for his bisexual girlfriend
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
It's a system.. i get to hook up with them and you get to play words with friends with them afterwards.
I seriously just caught my Pina colada from falling of a table perfectly facing up. I will now reward myself by finishing this one and then getting my 8th
Sorry i vommed in a cup next to u w out warning.. Actually im not that sorry cuz i didn't spill a drop LIKE A PRO
hell no. i was not wasting my two tears of virginity on him.
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
then you dropped a clam in a draught beer like it was a drop shot and and started chugging as beer spewed all over your body.
I miss my teeeeeeeeth. They're in a bag in my hand.
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
Randomize
