What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
the police officer looked at my vomit and told me "milk was a bad choice"
Saw some pubes in our toilet, hope the new look works out tonight.
did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
Yes, do intervene. Unless it involves cowboys with loud trucks and hard 9 inch dicks. Then just come back for me in the morning.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
Can we please get through at least one night out when you DON'T threaten to have sex with one of my parents?!?!
i am an animal i am literally locking myself in my house and not coming out for a week i don't deserve to be in public
My ideal friend would be my dog as a drug dealer
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
I didn't pay $79 for lingerie for you to cum in 30 seconds
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
we went book shopping, so yes this relationship is going to be about more than sex
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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