hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
I'm at Lowes and I'm constantly looking for things to vomit in, just in case
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
once again, we need to groom him to be a better human being. using liquor and tits.
Whenever we go out my brain flips on autopilot, straight to blackout.
Def just threw up beer then brushed my teeth with some randos toothpaste now back to drinkin beer
There is a 90 percent chance I threw up in a mailbox last night....
I never notice how majestic and beautiful my cat is unless I'm blazed
well his attempt to make a white russian with instant coffee, gone off milk, and that weird probably illegal vodka we bought the other day isnt going well
You invented a drink at the bar and named it Boner Soup. It was like an even trashier version of a long island iced tea
He wants to buy us a microwave. Clearly the man is going to fix my life.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
Randomize
