Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
It's either jizz or frosting, and either way, someone's being held accountable.
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
What's bad is when she said "what hobo did you steal this dick from?"
Ended up at a lesbian bar and almost got stabbed in the eye with a dart. Weirdest bachelor party ever.
You were telling the cab driver that you believe in him and just to follow his dreams
Hurry up. Some creepy guy with a "God is vengeful" flyer is asking where I wanna go most today. I think he's going to chop me into pieces.
She just made out with a golden retriever. I'm disgusted and turned on all at once
Sometimes turtles just really trip me out man
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
I'm not finished with being a sloppy white girl alcoholic. I didn't postpone having a husband and kids for sober weekends.
Ok, now help me add to my topless picture collection, i'm going to make myself a calendar
Although can we find me a starter dick? I don't want security showing up again. That was awkward.
There is no rule that you can't be in a room with more than one dick that's been inside you.
Randomize
