I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
They asked if I wanted to shotgun a beer and before i could ask who had a knife they all had bit holes into the cans. Im never leaving Germany!
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
All I remember is apologizing to his sister for being a bad influence while I was throwing up into a big gulp cup.
You don't know how much I love you. You could play Careless Whisper while we have sex and I'd still love you
it's the amount of time you spend on preventing me from puking that really cements this friendship
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
My vagina feels like a chupacabra ripped me apart using its mythological set of needle pointed teeth
I was just seen throwin up on the bookstore building near a trashcan by parents. Naturally I throw a thumbs up and say go college
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Had to trim my nails cus they got too long to effectively finger myself with
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