he wouldnt have sex with me because his guild had a misson on world of warcraft.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Drunk. I slept-stripped.
By myself.
A picture just appeared on facebook. I am puking in the toilet, you are next to me puking in the sink. I think we have our christmas card.
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I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
I just ate a bag of doritos while taking a shower. I can now officially do anything
Uuh, dude you came running out of the bar screaming you didn't want to hear that song, ran face first into a truck, spun around 3 times and hit the sidewalk. I tried to catch you.
I gather from Facebook you got drunk last night and took semi naked pictures of yourself?
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The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
And if you put this on Facebook, I will drop live cockroaches in your mouth while you sleep and then smother you with a pillow.
You always say the most romantic things
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
No, you are in the clear. The police officer finally just said "I give up" and walked away.
She then told me, and I quote "I want to send you nudes just to see how you'd react."
Randomize