Dude, I don't think I'll ever be able to find a girl for me...
Is this the gay conversation?
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Yes. I am getting trashed on an open tab while judging a karoke competition
Impressive. I approve.
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
I partied with a deaf mute last night. strangely enough the more drunk I get the easier it is to understand him.
yea sometimes its awkward. but when you're a straight bartender at a gay bar and everyone knows it, they all think that they can make me turn gay. its like oh yea dude that extra $20 tip makes me want to suck some dick now
I just slipped on ice and peed on my pea coat. There's a pun there but I'm too sad to make it
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
i can't hookup with him because someone else bit my vagina
I was giving you head in the kitchen, and when I looked up you were eating a quesadilla.
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