My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Killed two birds with one stone: found my wallet and unclogged the toilet.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So he thinks I sent him a picture of my boob last night, but it was really just a close up of my arm.
nothing like Chinese food and masturbating on a Saturday night
She had to leave early so she could get ready for her high school's homecoming. I hope her date likes sloppy seconds.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
Why were you having sex on top of my left over pizza in the kitchen?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Found a Safeway Deli Sandwich in the shower this morning... Perhaps the 9th beer was unnecessary.
I've decided I'm peeing in a solo cup then throwing it on his windshield. It's official. He called the cops 4 times in our first week at the house. He deserves it, right?
Do you think I need to report to HR that the intern and I had butt sex?
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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