In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Passed out watching pirates of caribbean with vodka in hand. Woke up to jenna jameson, with vodka gone.
so while we were having sex, he stuck it in my but, and when he finished he goes next time can we have anal. i don't know if that means im tight or my butt hole is loose, i choose to think the first one
I brought my laptop into the bathroom so I can facebook while vomiting. New low?
we're drinking boxed wine and eating string cheese. It's like a wine tasting for poor people.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
I don't know. I was also picked up by the doormen and held over the bar so I could do an upside down shot out of a bartenders tits.
Maybe before the beach I should get a tracking chip in my arm.
Her shirt said pass joints, not judgement. You're surprised she stole your wallet after?
that's the second time I've left that bar and slept with the person that's driven my car. thank god I don't take cabs..
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
She's not answering my calls
Well it sounds like you really fucked up
WHO HOLDS A GRUDGE OVER MEMES
Randomize
