i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
Barsexuality is the new black.
I kept waking up & seeing my Goodfellas poster and thinking it was a window with people crammed against it staring at me.
I guess the lighting in my room made it look like they were moving. I remember telling myself that they were watching over me and protecting me from the cops
just scratched off #34 on my list of things to do before age 30 - drunk in a helicopter.
All I'm saying is that she needs to invest in some razors. But her head game is great. The pros and cons in last minute hook-ups
well apperantly i passed out on the stairs shouting "victory".
if creating a fake 8 year old brother, who lives with me and has had mono for the past month, to explain why I have ignored my group project members is wrong, then I... well then I'm probably going to hell
It's been a year of occasional hook ups....this was bound to happen sometime even with your jank ovary schedule.
I got drunk and tried to make special rice krispie treats, but I made a mess and they were all stuck to my hands, so I just decided to eat my way out of the catastrophe and I think shit's about to get even weirder than usual.
I'm really just disappointed in myself for having sex with a musical theater major
I'm having shoppers remorse over a dildo
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
"suitors" is just a nice way of her saying "the guys i'm fucking"
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
