I'm looking for sex. Do you know her?
If I had a sex resume I'd get tons of jobs.
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
Haha Tomato, Tomato. That doesn't work very well via text message.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
both roomates are passed out on the floor. I feel like I'm missing out on crucial bonding time by sleeping in my bed.
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
She has puke in her hair, is missing a shoe and is now crying. People trust her to be their child's teacher
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
No teenage boy ever gets scared away from sex unless she is slipping a wedding ring on your finger or is killing your cat. I promise.
Also I'm sorry for asking you to shave my vagina for me last night
We stopped mid-sex and both shotgunned a beer then got back to it. Is this what love feels like?
Only time and a comprehensive case study of all of your relationships will tell.
When was the last time you got laid?
When was the last time you came home sober?
touche
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