you ended the night by relentlessly sucking on my hips bone and hand demanding milk. you said it was because you were a tiger
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
u downloaded tardy 4 the party
then u started screaming about not wanting nene on the record
i think at one point throughout the night i began eating birthday cake with a q-tip.
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
to which he commented "you must really like me on top". I didn't have the heart to tell him that was the only way the room stopped spinning
There is a contact in my phone named "Bar Mcntysu." this is why we need a third person to go out with us.
Hows that studying goin for you?
I'm in my bathtub in a robe and jeans smoking a bowl and my hair is covered in olive oil
i woke up the next morning in a pool of blood in my bathroom and a pinata donkeys head in my bed
so much for an anticlimactic 22nd birthday
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
hahahaha what do we need the kangaroos for? please tell me we release them instead of doves
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Apparently "Welcome to the Sin Cave" is not how I'm supposed to answer the door
Like I said, all hypothetical...unless, of course, you'd be into that. My heart may skip a beat.
He is 6'5, went to a Christian school and he's a violinist....I'm going to fuck the jesus right out of him.
Randomize
