its 4th on my favorites list. 1. butt sex 2. mini skirts 3. three meat pizza rolls 4. fuck the pain away by peaches
I wanna get FUCKED up and fail the piss test at my eval so they send me to detox and give me suboxone... Is that bad?
There's guys at my school running around throwing potatoes shouting "remember the famine." makes me proud to be Irish.
It makes me feel uncomfortable and unsafe when he licks my pants
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
What can I say, I bounce back quick. Never thought the line "my turtle died" would get me so many free drinks last night
It doesn't matter how many times you look in your purse, Your keys are not going to be there. Maybe you left them at the bar.
Maybe they fell out of my pocket last night when I rolled down the hill.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
He practically cut off his thumb and she offered him a tampon to stop the bleeding
Just got escorted to my 7:45 class by an old woman because I was too hungover to not realize I was four floors too high.
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
My new roommate just announced that she got her period, popped a percoset, smoked a bowl, and started playing a video game. She says she's not moving till it's over. New hero?
I'd probably lick every tooth in Carly Rae Jepson's fucking mouth.
Teen Choice Awards are on if your wondering.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
Had a one night stand and didnt remember the guys name until he started sending me poems in the mail.
Randomize
