yo i just woke up i feel so weird, and the absolut is still fill, so is the 30, what the fuck did we drink last night man? And will you please come out of the bathroom.
Bro... we didn't even hang out last night??
its like my vagina has this homing beacon out to all the guys saying "come find me, i havent been shaved in weeks"
Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
He says he's "masters drunk." And if that's anything like "kentucky derby drunk" I know enough to not go over there.
i'm reaslly not drunk enough to wtch the fat lesbian on my floor brng another fat lesbian dressed up as a bloody nurse into her room at 2am
I wonder if our vaginas are like "o thank god, no strangers breaking in tonight." Baahhhh sooo bad
I'm off the liquor
You're forefathers are ashamed of you. They didn't struggle to make it to America so that you could become a soft dick
Dude. All those hangovers I never had came back with a vengeance. I just opened the door of this car to barf. The car was not motionless. We are on the autobahn.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
I slipped on a piece of pizza last night and when the bouncer helped me up I told him the garbage can pushed me.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
I googled my name and pictures of you drinking showed up. Way to steal my thunder....
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