Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
Roller skating + drunkeness + peeing = mess
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
What's the protocol when you drive the girl's head into the wall during sex and she starts to cry?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
She gave such good road head it was turned into side-of-the-road head for everyone's safety
"I vaguely remember the Health and Safety Inspector walking into my room this morning while I was passed out naked. That's one way to get it over with quickly."
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got his number because he was "impressed with how much I could handle"...I was chasing shots with Olive Garden breadsticks...
Wtf. So apparently this 5 star establishment doesn't allow strip putt putt in the parking lot. We all just got kicked out of our rooms.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
And a hot pocket after we fucked. Heaven.
It's confirmed. I have two dates on Saturday, and they are both named Mike.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
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