Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
He spent 6 hours at the ER after crashing a motorcycle and still came to the bar, Ofcourse I went home with him. He's my hero.
If kinky sex was an Olympic sport they would be playing the anthem for me as we speak.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude he did say "let's go cougar hunting" and you KNEW your mom was going out last night...so it's kind of your own fault for not coming
I'm running on jager fumes right now. It's like I put diesel in a prius and said fuck it.
I would really just like to get laid somewhere that's not on a bathroom floor at this point in my life
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
orgasmnado...tomorrow night
That's what I'm talking about
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
Damn you. I'm in a bar with Southern Jesus Fearing Blah Blah Rednecks WHO ARE PROBABLY VOTING FOR TRUMP and you go radio silent.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
the gnome is staring at me and the pineapple is wearing shorts. I don't want to do this anymore.
Trying to decide if I'm relieved or disappointed that I didn't receive any fuck boi calls on nye
Randomize