# days @ Coachella: 1 people i showed how to break it down: 279
Greg found me on xtube. Who knew random hook ups would leave their web cams on and upload it. At least it shows off big penis.
Im gonna name my vag after egypt, "the valley of kings"
whats wrong with me. i have a coffee mug of wine in the library and i'm doing homework
when I woke up she was standing in the living room with a bottle of scotch because she is "allergic to hangovers"
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Woke up to a huge puddle of water in the living room floor, apparently I made an indoor snowman.
The bouncer was being really rude for no reason. Steph PICKED him up and physically MOVED him from our path on the way out.
Well thats the pro of going out drinking with a pro body builder. Even if its a girl.
What are you doing St Patricks day? I'm banned from all work parties with open bar ever since the cinco de mayo party that I dumped a drink on my co-workers head and played air guitar on my boss' ankle cast.
Dammit labor day drinking cancelled due to 3 inch long table saw cut to palm
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
A little sexual choking never killed anyone. And if it did, they died happy.
So many gingers... It's like a beacon went out that said "this one is ok with red hair"
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
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