sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
oh btw spread eagle is not an appropriate phrase to use in a scientific presentation. learned that the hard way
I went to class with the sex aroma on me. The hot sun doesn't help much.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Bjs on a first date are the gateway to getting to know someone for who they really are.
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
Drunk Karaoke resulted in only 8 injuries this time, so there is some improvement.
I just rolled a blunt and took my bra off. I'm not going anywhere.
Your favorite boobs are sending you seasons greetings
this is honestly why we're friends. we drink tea and plan to do drugs together.
he told me he liked me . I thought we were just fuck buddies . This ruins everything!
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
Do I masturbate or eat a pound of matazah. Alissa help what do I do??
Randomize
