Things overheard in WeHo: "Just drink a corona and eat some ass, you won't be hungry anymore"
Glitter + Penis = Best. Idea. Ever.
She told me that she faked her orgasm. Does she think I care??
also, did you notice that when he quoted your email he used MLA format?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
all law school has taught me so far is how to fart quietly during lectures and how to out-argue the ice cream guy when he screws me out of extra toppings.
Landen experienced Greenville for the first time last night. He was awaken by 2 cops and 4 EMS guys this morning in the bed of that truck that is for sale at the swashbuckler carwash, said he was trying to walk to waffle house... Greenville- 1, Landen- 0
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
I knew my bag made it because I could smell the fireball that spilled inside of my suitcase before it was on the luggage carousel.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I find it weird that you'll let me in your vagina, but not your house
How am I supposed to buy weed and pancake mix when it's raining?
Let's celebrate our country being screwed by screwing.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Do you know how hard it is to have sex on an air matress while there are people sleeping in the same room?!?!?
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
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