I am slurping my drink like I am going to the electric chair
So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
Nakedness is not a toga. Just sayin
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
i just put a booger in my mom's hair and i just needed to tell someone.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the party has pretty much ended, it's just 20ish of us jumping and grinding to music from some guy's phone in the corner.
Can I just say that you're probably one of my favorite people to have sex with and then eat hummus with at 3:45am?
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
25 likes of a picture on Instagram of my butthole. beat that.
I spent all the money my grandpa gave me for Christmas last night….solid start to 2015
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Doing the walk of shame from the back of a Jeep to the porta potty it's parked next to while your dad watches is not what you want.
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
