just found out i fit into magnum condums. this is going to be the best weekend ever
this study room smells like vodka
the study room thinks the same about you
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
We did however see an 87 year old guy die and get resuscitated last night at the bar. He then finished his beer and his game of pool.
That was a $3000 rug we rolled him down the hill in.
Everything tastes like hotdogs and shame.
I always have trouble explaining my life decisions to people over the age of 30.
I never knew so many sexual things could be done while wearing footie pajamas
She just asked me if I was looser "in the vagina" than her. While gyrating.
My catholic guilt is strong, but the alcohol is stronger.
I've smoked enough weed to put down a pony.
Being invited to eat tater tots at 1:30am by a rly hot girl then actually only eating tater tots is a major let down. Tasty, but still a let down
Yeah I was thinking something along the lines of "I almost died, lets celebrate with sex. Come over"
Well, I ruined his toilet and he's still completely okay with me. Plus, it took him like a week to tell me.
If a girl I didn't love ruined my toilet I don't think I'd stick around.
Randomize
