i now understand why he chose to have sex with my friend rather then me after lookin in the mirror this morning. and id do the same thing.
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
You're earring is so big in my mouth
so not only am i rooming with two chicks on the volleyball team, but we just put down the deposit on a hot tub. this is going to be the best summer ever for my dick.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I just peed in a flower pot on the veranda while crying and holding a drink
Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
He's asking if he can send a dick pic. How do I politely decline that?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not sure if it's my shorts, hat, shoes, hair or soul but one of the above just got me drunk again from the glorious aroma of Keystone Light.
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
She's asleep in a fisher-price toy car
You start to question your morals when you wake up at 430 and there's three people naked...that you don't no
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize