I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
it's official, i've been high in 26 different states, and three different countries.
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
I tried giving you a bj last night and all you could manage was "Haha that tickles" and "in the morning"
Maybe it's the vicodin, but all I wanna do is hunt wild hogs.
My neighbor Chris is here. I am warning you, he is wearing a kilt I just saw his balls. Be incredibly careful that you don't see what I did.
He is dust bro dust in the wind I waited in this unlocked car long enough.
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I just moonwalked my socks off. THAT LAZY. THAT HIGH.
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
Straight up just cock blocked my dad. Also this apple sauce is good.
I think i got beer on your cat.
I’d clean the kitchen before making food. Mark “rang in the New Year” with some rando in there last night
Randomize
