idk hes just been lookin at me weird all night
he probably just wants to cut your skin off and wear you like a body suit
They are baked and once again have spent the last 45 mins talking about opening up a world wide business called "pickle on a stick"
How fortunate humanity is that it need not rely on the female orgasm for procreation
Talking about the game in the closet with a banana wearing sunglasses.
Well I found you sipping ron diaz out of a child's dinosaur cup while sticking your fingers in the guy's fish tank and watching the "pirahnas" snap at your finger and laughing
Dude you couldnt even talk, you just kept hiccuping and slamming your head on the wall.
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
We took it as we must go to waffle house or else we will upset the gods.
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
And then my night got REAL pukey
Being sober is no fun. Karaoke and not wearing pants are not socially acceptable things to do anymore and this depresses me.
I've reached the last of the wine in my cup so now I have to sit up in my bed to get it through the crazy straw
So I told him "To answer your question yes I am naked making pizza pops in your kitchen"
She showed up at 4:30 in the morning HAMMERED, stripped, demanded sex, then after 4 failed attempts stopped me mid-thrust to tell me she thought we should be fucking for a cause, like animal rights. Process that for a second. She wanted us to be fucking for animal rights.
I HAVE TOO MICH DICK TALKING TO ME IDK WHAT TO DO.
Randomize
