Please tell me I didn't pass out while we were having sex last night... and if so I am sooooo sorry.
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
Does leaving at 3 give Sara enough time to take the bus or are you picking her up?
I cant tell if your joking or not, but I'm picking her up
Do you need some kind of permission slip from her parents or can anyone just go and grab a high schooler these days?
It was romantic. He brought over a bottle of Jack to celebrate us becoming official on Facebook. Definitely a story for the grandkids.
the trick is not to think about where her tounge has been.
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
The good news is the house is clean, the bad news is someone redecorated the bonus room by spray painting "free willy" on the wall in honor of the girl who passed out in there last night.
Taking my infected piercing out in the parking lot of the food card place. This is one of those life defining moments that makes me sad.
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
My g-ma saw your dick-pic and wants you to know I've got a keeper. She says her big whopper died in Korea. Good thing g-pa is still asleep.
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
Things he's good at: oral sex and geometry. Things he's not good at: actual sex.
You either got a dog, or you have a boy over. I can't tell from the noises which it is.
Its 9 am & i've been cleaning for 6 hours now with occasional crying bursts and two cocktails. Adulting 101.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
Randomize
