I chose taco bell over sex...
good choice.
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
we dont know what were doing after yet. first up we have 90 beers and a party kit and fun hats.
I just watched Jersey Shore so I would know what rock bottom was when I reach it.
dude I heard her through my door. She sounded like you were holding her head under water and they letting her up for air. I recorded that shit
I bought a zebra print bikini, I'm gonna be honest here- if he doesn't want to have sex with me in this, he's gay.
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
wine lets you be on time to class apparently
This is a dangerous realization
I just accidentally hit share on pornhub... Probably the scariest moment of my life
You should have. Partying with 60 year olds and batman is so much better than partying with bitches our age.
I sent "Rawrrrr" to 151 matches on Tinder. I feel like thats a substantial size of the DC female population.
Someone needs to lock me in a chastity belt because all my vagina does is get me into trouble. Fuck.
I guess I can check "drink alone in the dark" off my bucket list
I’m sorry I pressured you for dick pics.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
