he fingered my asshole thinking it was my vag...I couldn't bring myself to tell him, mostly from shame for me and pity for him
You cheat on me once, shame on me. You cheat on me with a white girl, it's fucking over
I am spending my work day planning my weekend drinking schedule
see if i had a dick i'd definitely smack people in the face with it
It's horrible of you to say your above all this when the bar uses your drunk picture to scare people.
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
You know my ex in high school who cheated on me and dumped me right before prom? A decade later, I just saw her again...working at an Arby's. it was a good day...
He's pretty cool once you ignore the fact that he's trying to get into your pants
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
Definitely just poured my beer into a McDonald's cup so I could walk through Walmart without judgment. 'Murica.
That's okay I'm failing college because I'm to busy giving over the pant handjobs in class..
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
No I feel the same as usual. Mopey with a chance of bitch fits.
Is there a way to use porn to inspire him to have dirty thoughts? Like the movie Inception except with more lube and orgams?
Randomize
