@ a funeral. fucking miss uuuu
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Mcdonalds hasn't even finished serving breakfast yet and u two are getting drunk?
I literally told her "she's a sandwich I'd like to make" and that's all it took
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
I think I'm just gonna be a cat and wear slutty black clothes with some eyeliner on my face and pretend my ears got stolen by a drunk guy
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
I've started brushing my teeth at 6pm, because honestly alcohol is the only thing I consume after that
Bring me that man meat
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
Went to a club yesterday was dirty dancing with this guy, reached back to move my hair and punched him in the face.
ANTI-GAME
I am so proud to call you my friend
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