Think I'm gonna go cougar hunting tonight... Any advice?
condoms and good judgment
Can I buy both of those at the same store?
We'll make it into fun. If I can make wii bowling into a drinking game, I can make studying spanish into a sex game.
Day two of vacation and my first drink of the day is a plan b colada
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
His parents had a bottle of captain morgan on the table for me when I went for dinner. I feel accepted
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
it says 'tasty bitch' in sharpie on my tits...
I'm not entirely sure what happened last night, but I think I dislocated my kneecap during an epic Mario Kart battle...
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
It's gotten to the point that when I close my eyes to cum all I see is candy crush
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
My sister's exploding appendix just cock blocked me...
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
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