I love hooters. This dumb bartender is saying how coffee dehydrates you so that's why she sometimes just eats the coffee grinds wake up.
so i was eating a special k bar this morning for breakfast and started choking on it so i reached into my bag for water turns out it was liquor.
She looks like a junkie muppet...awful
Or stump rather since he's possibly large. Large penises don't have tips, just blunt ends of battering rams.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
Just had sex in an ice hut. What have you done with your holiday break?
I've already dropped her on the ground of a crowded bar dancing , been incoherent drunk to the point i couldn't speak and came within 2 seconds all on separate evenings so at this point she should know what I'm about
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
New low. I just threw up in the shower at 4pm. Nothing like leaving behind my 20s with class.
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
I'll accept that I'm a woo girl. Just not the drunk cowboy hat wearing bar mongering twat bag type
Just try not to have a boner when you're giving your best man speech, it will really kill the vibe
Just an fyi, you also tried to wrangle a peacock last night.
Randomize
