I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
There's nothing more uncomfortable than drifting into sexual fantasies on a roadtrip and realizing you have a boner with three other dudes in the car.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
They were lying down in the parking garage pretending to be speed bumps...
Apparently the cops have a video of me singing bob seger "Night moves".
Sorry I forced you to take an adderall at 1am and then proceeded to dance to Lose Yourself outside of Qdoba.
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
We've given up. My vagina is tired of constant lonely nights and disappointments. This is our retirement.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
I just tinder matched with a blue angels pilot. I need to make out with him. For America.
he sent me a green and gold dick pic and advised me I needed to come drive the snake from Ireland.
I love her so much I can forgive her for wearing crocs
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
Randomize
