I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
you always know who the new freshman are on fb because theyre always wearing prom dresses
You American Chicks are so confusing....1 day you are on my nuts next day you be trippin
Dude its not just American chicks...a small penis is the same in every language
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
we should wear snuggies to the strip club
I don't care how hot he got, I can't get past the PTSD flashbacks of the first time he fingered me
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
maybe her throwing up on me was a foreshadowing of how she would later metaphorically throw up on my life
Talking to her is like watching "Bad Life Choices: The Movie"
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
YAS. BRING CRAB.
All I remember is me taking my automatic nerf gun getting on top of him and saying..."look whos in control now!"
Well, if I'm gonna go gay, it's gonna be for NPH
he asked me for a magic BJ...is that supposed to be different from a normal BJ?
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