How do i ask the guy i made out with for 4 hours if he is gay? He keeps telling me i'm so adorable and that he had a ''blasty''
i've been thru my totinos phase. then after reading the ingredients and nutritional info i almost puked in my mouth. its like having the bastard child of pizza hut and mcdonalds invade your kitchen and start stabbing your digestive system.
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Fell asleep on the Grass at Lolla woke up in the Brown line. What. The. Fuck.
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
Haha. I got you. I always pay you back somehow. Do you accept all major forms of payment: cash, taco bell, and patriotic underwear?
Whatever, consider condoms an eighteen year investment.
I could probably save all of the money I would have spent on condoms and put a kid through college.
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I met my future husband in an elevator. Think Hispanic version of Dr. Bunsen Honeydew from the Muppets, but with eyes like Michael Fassbender.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
Like I thought me shitting my pants was bad today... Then the election happened.
This is why we can never be just regular friends. The shit we do is not regular
I gave your mom a discount on her coffee, its my way to say thanks for having a son that makes me come every time
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
We're playing drunken roulette. We're taking exlax followed by shots. First person to shit themselves loses!
Randomize
