So this girl in my math class just went to the bathroom, tampon in hand, comes back with it still in her hand starts digging around in her purse, takes her thing of birthcontrol out, goes oh fuck, and downs the rest of the pills. Got to love college.
fuck your aforementioned shoe
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was telling me which girls she thought I should fuck or not at the bar. Why can't all one night stands be that cool after?
Do you think I can wear the dress I went to jail in with the shoes I went to prom in to the wedding tonight?
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
There's someone howling in the parking lot. Haha.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well I think won that argument, as the cops were leaving, they offered me a ride to the airport
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
With gravity the way it is and your butt clearly being the size of a bus you'd break your hip or something
Bro. I traded my coat. I have a Raiders coat now.
She's officially a Tinder poltergeist.
After she got off the phone with her mom she sprinted down the block screaming "I'M SO GOOD AT BEING A HUMAN!!!!!!!!!!!!!"
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