I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
Dude, I found out the hard way that she wipes back to front. I ate her out and had to throw up.
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
Bro, she used the potato bongs to make French fries after. She's deff a keeper.
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
did you see me getting spanked by that lady cop who was a guy?
He came over and watched the USA game with me, fucked me so good my toe cramped, then made my bed this morning before he left. Thank God for Army rangers
She just left someone a voicemail saying 'you better not have plans Saturday night, cause I'm going to sit on your face.'
First thing I find in the car I just pick up from my grandpa? A discount card for the strip club down the road from his apartment. The force is still strong.
Do you ever look at someone's Snapchat story and think ‘you told me you would eat my ass’?
he’s basically the devil with a fuck boy hair cut and chlamydia
had to remind myself that killing him is not a good career move AGAIN.
Randomize
